You’d think it’d be safe to assume that my iPhone’s battery would last long enough to survive a day at University to attend a lecture: a 5 hour round trip (including said lecture). As the evening slowly creeps in and I get home, I realise my house keys are, in fact, on the other side of the locked door. To my horror, I watch as my phone battery goes from 40% straight down to 1%. Then it just cuts out. Black. Nothingness. So whilst sat on the front doorstep of my house with two first world problems, I came up with a list of 30 things that last longer than an iPhone battery…

1. Trending hashtags
Remember #susanalbumparty… Forever going down in history.

2. The pre-sale cinema tickets of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Friendships were broken beyond repair when you didn’t book someone else’s ticket as well.

3. 60 Second News
Nuff said

4. A 15-year old’s first sexual encounter
You’ll be chasing the dragon for those very first few minutes of glory. 

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5. Usain Bolt’s 100m record
Beating Justin Gatlin’s record still lasted longer.

6. British Summers
Beginning on the 24th October and officially ending on the 25th October.

7. Australian Winters
We bitterly thank the Australians for bringing the travesty that is Uggs to the UK.

8. Rebecca Black’s singing career
Bitch, please. Friday is a tune. 

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9. Fake tan
Looking like a streaky orange has never lasted so long. 

10. Real tan
*Steps onto plane tanned* *Steps off plane paler than before leaving*

11. The sale of Glastonbury tickets
Seriously, they’re like golden tickets.

12. Primark bags
*Walks down the road hugging ripped Primark bag trying to contain contents*

13. The Maltesers in the Celebration tub
May the odds be ever in your favour.

14. The Flash
“Bazinga.”

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15. Ross and Rachel’s break
“We were on a break!”

16. My student loan
In the space of two hours I am out and back into my overdraft.

17. The UK’s Christmas cheer
“On the first day of-” “NO.”

18. A third year’s motivation to write a dissertation
I think this is a myth…

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19. A parent’s enjoyment towards the summer holidays
Legend has it parents actually enjoy having their kids at home for 6 weeks. 

20. The Higgs Boson
Science Bitch!

21. A ripe avocado
Fresh when queueing at the till. Mouldy when home.

22. Kim Kardashian’s first and second marriage.
We all make mistakes when we’re young…

23. Spencer Matthews staying monogamous
Does he even know what loyalty is though?

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24. David Cameron’s likeability
Was there ever a time he was liked?

25. Dieting
The diet starts NEXT Monday…

26. Taylor Swift’s relationships
So it’s gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames…

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27. My bank balance after pay day
Damn wine. 

28. Feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep
*Alarm goes off* OH WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS

29. 30-second news
Yep.

30. My sobriety
What even is a dryathalon?

 

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Can you think of anything else that easily outlives the battery on your phone? Just comment below!

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