Love – noun:1. A strong feeling of affection
2. A great interest/pleasure in something
verb: feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone).
That is the definition of love according to the dictionary, though if you ask me I don’t think you can accurately define such a feeling. I’ve asked a number of people the same question “how do you know when you love someone” and I received the same answer each time – ‘I don’t know, you just know.’ Love is supposed to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world, with one person describing it as “a feeling that can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you’re in love. If you find it, don’t let it go” – if this is the case, then why are so many people afraid of it?
I can’t go a day on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram without seeing at least 5 quotes about ‘this generation’ in regards to relationships. I’ll give you a few examples I came across on Twitter before I go on:
“Our generation is messed up when it comes to trust, loyalty, and relationships.”
“Nowadays dating, relationships and love don’t exist anymore. In this generation it’s all about raving, partying and hook ups. It’s just sad.”
“Why is our generation so against relationships and real commitment now?”
“Nowadays you can be everything somebody wants and still get played”
Okay you get the point… So what is it that gives this generation such a stigma in terms of relationships? It’s a subjective matter and each person is different so there are always going to be conflicting arguments.
I believe that people overthink too much, too many games are played – I see it all the time. Small things such as not texting back on purpose, pretending not to care when you do, writing a tweet when you’re mad/upset with something your partner has done instead of talking to them directly; these all lead to issues in relationships. When I was questioning the public about their views, one response was “People are obsessed with social media. Who’s following who can make or break relationships when really, a follow is more than likely an innocent move with no other motive”. Another said “People give up too easily. Because of things like social media and apps such as tinder they see so many options around them so as soon as something goes slightly wrong in their relationship they don’t think ‘I’m going to stick around and work through this’ they think, screw this I can get someone else”.
Out of 10 people I questioned, 8 mentioned social networks. This seems to play a massive factor in relationships and trust issues.. It’s silly, but it’s understandable. These days we can connect to literally anyone and it gives that false sense of belonging – a follow or a like from a good looking stranger can trigger interest. Whenever relationships hit a rough patch people can just log on to one of these networks and see likes/comments filled with admiration but absolutely no depth – they don’t know you, they have no real interest in your hobbies and goals. Yet your partner, the person who is there for you 24/7 genuinely does care. People need to remember this before getting caught up in something that means nothing.
Why does it have to be so complicated? Stop thinking too much into it, stop looking at celebrity couples and tweeting “relationship goals” – most of the time everything you see is just for show. Yes they might have matching designer shoes (who actually cares?) and romantic trips around the world but does that really mean they are in a happy, loving, trusting relationship? No, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Tyler Perry’s ‘Why Did I Get Married Too’ contains a quote which I think is quite appropriate for this article. An old man, having been married to his wife most of his life, says “We love each other. There’s no fear, no ego, no attitude. These young people today; my heart bleeds. Looking and wanting love so bad and not knowing how to find it, not knowing anybody to show them what it is and how to get it. Remember this; true love will never return to you void.”
If I have one thing to say it’s this – appreciate what you have. If you find someone that supports you, makes you laugh, cares for you and wants to make you happy and you feel the same; keep them. Stop looking for “better”, stop searching for things to complain about and stop comparing it to relationships in the media. It’s YOURS, nothing is perfect but what fun would that be anyway? Take things as they come and learn to love freely, no guards. Yes there’s a chance you might get hurt, but you may also end up having the best thing in the world.